Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
