I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
