I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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