I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
tell me about the fingering
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