Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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