If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
