you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize