420 ftw
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
