can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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