I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
