So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
