shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
