Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
