i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
