My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
