I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I love black thongs
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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