She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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