watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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