Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
