anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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