He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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