im drinking this country out of the recession.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
