He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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