if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
