Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The air taste purple.
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