But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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