I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
