I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
