He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
