so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
