I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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