i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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