I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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