We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
