Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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