umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
