He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
that may or may not have been my penis.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
