what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
