You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
