Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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