id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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