Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
