You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
