i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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