its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
