What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
