I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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