You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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