Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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