Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
