I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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