oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
