Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
