Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
