I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
