it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This pandemic, itβs making everyone horny. Iβve got dick stashed all over town
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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