This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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