i think i have herpe
just one?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize