Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
