She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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