When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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