I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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